the greatest love of all.

Self-love seems so often unrequited.  ~Anthony Powell

Love is such an amazing thing. I love my blessings. I love the people closest to me. I love the knowledge I have of the saving and redeeming power that Jesus Christ brings to me. I love my life.

I love who I am.

I feel like I have been so blessed with the choices I have made.  I have chosen to be single up until this point. With this decision, I have come to understand myself and learn to have a healthy self-image and understand my worth, who I am and what I am. Like many, as a goal oriented person I came to the point where I found myself feeling my worth once I was able to accomplish something. I admittedly acted in a way that I would feel this self-worth more if I did what I expected of myself.  When I would work out, or wear a cute outfit or accomplished something very hard, that is when I felt I could check something off the list and feel more content with who I was. What I failed to realize was that if I didn't accomplish something I had set my sights to, I was not a failure. My worth was not compromised by what I have not accomplished. If I don't work out, or if I eat a whole entire box of thin mints, or if I roll out of bed and go to work (those 20 extra minutes are the best time to sleep!), that does not at all determine how I should feel about myself. I was basically letting my subconscious allow me to feel defeated which then made a direct correlation to the amount of love I allowed myself to feel for who I was.

Once I came to this realization and once I had started studying the Atonement and the power that it holds, I really began to feel that power. I started to see myself not as a checklist of goals or pins on pinterest that I wanted to mimic. I rather believed that I had worth regardless of my actions. Regardless of what I had or didn't have to show for it.

I have always had a happy life. But this realization has made me happier. To know that I can love myself no matter what I do is comforting. When I mess up, or when I am imperfect I can still learn from it and honestly I think it encourages me to do better when I don't put so much "do or die" pressure on myself. I think that is when I started performing better and doing so many more beautiful and great things because the love was already there.

Today I did a Jillian Michaels work out. I thought I have used the word "love" a little too much in this post so I just thought I'd balance it out. I hate Jillian workouts with a passion. I hate working out, I hate burpees, and I especially hate getting all sweaty. But you know what, today I didn't do all of this awful dreaded stuff because I would be in trouble with myself if I didn't and I wouldn't be able to feel happy with myself.  Instead I did it because I love myself and I wanted to show it.

Please believe this. You and I are worth more than any thing. You have so much more worth than you are letting yourself believe. Think of the person in your life that you love the most. If they aren't perfect you aren't going to love them any less. Same goes for you. You will always be divine...even if your hair looks like crap and you have a huge zit on your face. Love yourself in spite of your imperfections. Because Someone loved you enough to overcome all of those little imperfections anyways.

If you must love your neighbor as yourself, it is at least as fair to love yourself as your neighbor.  ~Nicholas de Chamfor

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.  ~Henry S. Haskins, Meditations in Wall Street, 1940